As I stare at the blank wall-mounted “Evacuation Map” in our office building, I can’t help but wonder if it’s less of a safety tool and more of an existential statement. There it is, framed in glossy plastic, with no arrows, no floor plans, not even a “You Are Here” dot to mock me. It’s like the building is saying, Good luck, buddy. If there’s a fire, just follow your heart. Honestly, it’s the most passive-aggressive workplace safety feature I’ve ever encountered.
The real kicker is that someone took the time to mount it perfectly level, as if that precision somehow compensates for the complete lack of life-saving information. If an alarm ever goes off, I’ll probably just end up running in circles like a confused Roomba. The blank map, meanwhile, will hang there silently, judging me for not already knowing which exit leads to freedom and which one leads to the janitor’s closet. Perhaps this is how corporate Darwinism works—you either have an innate sense of direction, or you learn the hard way that not all doors lead to fresh air.
